Man, this past few days has mentally draining. The death in my family was tragic and preventable, and that is all I will say on that. I have never been to a funeral where you stand in question of what has happened and searching for answers. I have never been to a funeral where they lowered a casket either. That was about all I could handle at that point. Like I noted before, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on a lot of things. How many times I skipped chance to hang with my cousin and her now-deceased husband to go do a race. Too many. That is the answer. How many times I should have called him up to go grab a beer. Too many. He was going to see Tool with me until it was cancelled. And so it goes. It would not be human nature if I didn't question these feelings. Perhaps I need to lift up my head a bit more and take a closer look at those right around me. Those are your support staff, those are your true sponsors....for life.
So, training for 2007 starts soon. The ankle still hurts but can be trained on. James' father asked me to win a race on his behalf. I told him, "count on it.....many times." And so the training comes with more vigor for 2007. James is my much needed "kick in the ass. "Along with that comes new colors and a change. My two-week reset has been more of a mental one more than anything else. I want to have a future in the cycling industry after racing and it wasn't coming to a realization with where I was at. The vison was not being shared by all involved. So, I think I have found where I need to go. If not, at least where I will learn what I need to know to stay in this beautiful sport. It is a group of guys who are as passionate for the sport as myself if not more. After all, that is what it is all about.
Who? Where? More later. Ciao -Ian